3 million hiding

It was a case of better late than never for a woman who discovered that her crafty ex-husband had hidden around $3 million from the asset split when they divorced 15 years earlier.

The ex-wife now wants her rightful share of the hidden stash, estimated at $1.4 million as she claims she was entitled to 44.5 per cent of their overall matrimonial assets.

The couple had agreed to split their asets worth $4.5 million when their marriage ended in 2010 with a “consent order” that awarded the woman $2 million, or 44.5 per cent.

All was well for a decade until the parties clashed over the amount of maintenance the ex-husband should pay for their two children.

He had asked a court to reduce the sum from about $5,800 a month to $2,500 but blundered by inadvertently talking about a foreign bank account that was not disclosed in their past dealings.

With the cat out of the bag, the ex-wife engaged a financial sleuth to look into that account. The “forensic investigative report” that followed revealed that there was a balance of about US$1.9 million around the time when they split.

Further checks also uncovered that the ex-husband had a stake of US$800,000 in a company that was also not disclosed during their divorce settlement.

This meant the couple should have been looking at an asset division of $7.7 million instead of $4.5 million.

Disclosure is mandatory 

Cases like this highlight the risk of one party hiding assets whenever couples make decisions without any inquiry or a court order for a full and frank disclosure of just what each party owns.

In this case, the husband’s lawyer argued that a full disclosure might not be mandatory for all negotiations for divorce settlements, especially when couples were in touch directly.

For instance, spouses might sometimes agree to divide the matrimonial home and retain any assets held in their sole names without disclosing the full list of all assets.

In this case, when the wife said she would accept $2 million in full settlement, the husband actually replied that he would only accept this proposal “under protest” pending a “global settlement of all the ancillary matters”.

If he had dishonestly concealed his assets, his lawyer said, he would have immediately accepted the offer without any condition. Moreover, he would also not have asked for more time to pay as this could risk scuttling a settlement that was in his favour.

But High Court Judge Choo Han Teck did not buy the argument because the responsibility of full and frank disclosure applies not only to contested divorces but also to exchanges of information between parties and their lawyers. After all, the outcome of such negotiations is still subject to the court’s approval.

If the husband had been forthright from the start by disclosing all his assets while asserting that he would be willing to divide only some of them, he would have avoided the current dispute, the judge added.

Hiding assets from ex-spouse

The husband claimed that the disputed sum was not relevant to the divorce because the funds were loans from his former business partner who later died.

He added that his then wife knew about this and the late partner’s relatives were willing to waive the loans in exchange for help in procuring certain assets. He added that the documents did not reveal any fraud and that he never told his ex-wife during their negotiations that he had disclosed all his assets then.

But Justice Choo noted that the husband’s conduct revealed “a pattern of deliberate concealment rather than mere oversight”.

For instance, he first claimed that the money in the bank account originated from the sale of stock options but later changed this story to claim the funds were loans for investments that were subsequently waived.

“His inconsistent narratives suggest an attempt to conceal his assets rather than a genuine explanation for their non-disclosure,” Justice Choo added.

Similarly, the husband was not justified in giving a false statement to claim that his undisclosed company was registered in 2018, when the evidence showed that he had owned it since 2004.

“Such a significant misrepresentation about a company he owned for two decades cannot be an innocuous error,” Justice Choo added.

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Effect of non-disclosure

If the wife knew from the start that her ex-husband had stashed away assets but chose to accept a fixed settlement sum of $2 million, she would not be permitted to renege on the deal based on the fraudulent non-disclosure.

Justice Choo noted that the wife probably knew her ex-husband might have other assets since she knew that he “came from money” and owned shares in the family company. Yet, she never asked to include those assets in the joint asset list during their negotiations.

But the million-dollar question has yet to be answered: Would the parties have been able to reach a deal if all the assets were on the table then and, if so, would the wife have still been able to get 44.5 per cent of the total pool of matrimonial assets?

Justice Choo noted that even if he had found that the hidden assets should have been considered in the split, the solution cannot be to retrospectively increase the pool of matrimonial assets and award the wife 44.5 per cent of the undisclosed sum.

In past cases, the courts had used such a “quantification approach” to increase the shares for spouses during ongoing hearings when there was evidence of non-disclosure.

But the judge said that this approach could not be used in this case because the terms of the deal were agreed upon 15 years ago, and the wife had also received the $2 million settlement sum.

So there was no legal basis to allow her to keep this sum and simultaneously receive an additional award based on the undisclosed assets.

The wife cannot have her cake and eat it too because the rule that “fraud unravels all” means that once fraud is established, the settlement deal must be set aside entirely, and not partially varied.

In the end, the court did not make a ruling on the hidden stash because both sides would need to present fresh arguments for it.

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What this means is that with more money on the table now, both sides must decide whether they should start a new court action or reach a new settlement on the division of their matrimonial assets.

If there is a lesson in this case, it is that spouses should always be upfront with each other when things go wrong so that they avoid prolonging the pain and incurring more legal costs.

After all, some secrets can’t stay hidden forever and if it happens like in this case, the parties have to relive the nightmare of fighting with each other again.

Check out Invest editor Tan Ooi Boon’s new book – Retire With More Money – at stbooks.sg

Tan Ooi Boon writes for and oversees the Invest section of The Straits Times.

calm room

A recent report that some companies are introducing quiet rooms in the workplace reminded me of my struggles with finding quiet spots in public places.

The article on July 14 in The Straits Times, “From wellness zone to neurodivergent room: How companies are creating inviting, inclusive offices”, mentioned the 2024 Global Workplace Insights report which found that only 68 per cent of Singapore respondents said they could easily find suitable spots to get work done in their offices, compared with the global average of 76 per cent. The poll covered more than 10,000 people from 13 countries and was done by Unispace, an Australia-headquartered interior design company that has a Singapore branch.

At professional services firm EY’s One Raffles Quay office in Singapore, there are quiet rooms for those needing a “sensory break”. The rooms feature dimmable lights, walls in muted colours and sound-absorbing materials. While these rooms recognise the needs of “neurodivergent” staff who may get exhausted by social interactions and noise, they are also available to any employee seeking a quiet spot for focused work.

A quick search online throws up many articles on the “quiet revolution” in office space planning, as more employers recognise the limits of open layout designs which foster collaboration and teamwork, but distract from focused work. Research also shows that a constant hum of activity, such as phone conversations and clatter of keyboards, can tire the brain and reduce productivity. So while open office layouts remain popular, more employers are offering quiet pods, partitioned cubicles, folding screens for privacy or green spaces that look out onto calm water or greenery views. 

As workplaces get busier and noisier, the push for quiet zones at work will intensify. These days, it is mostly the so-called C-suite executives and senior staff who have the luxury of working in the quiet hush of boardroom-level panelled offices with actual walls, not just office partitions that shield occupants from casual view but not ambient noise. Access to quiet working spaces thus have an equity element.

I realised this late in my career, when I was given an office room of my own at The Straits Times when I became Opinion editor. It was tiny, but it had a door that could shut off noise. I remembered a senior government leader I interviewed years ago, who told me he kept an exercise mat under his desk for a quick lie-down after lunch to recharge. He was so high up, he could deal with whatever back talk anyone might offer.

I did one better. I had a three-seater sofa delivered to my office. A post-lunch lie-down in my darkened office became a regular occurrence. I didn’t keep it secret, but I didn’t talk about it either. Since then, I always had a recliner or full-length sofa in my office. As I became more sensitive to noise and light, I also developed greater empathy for those with sensory disorders. I told some of my younger colleagues, who struggled in an open office setting, that my quiet office was available to them, even if I wasn’t around.

These days, my work space as a freelance writer is my home in Perth, where I have a study overlooking the back garden and our chicken run; or the local library, which is usually quiet.

While the quiet revolution quietly takes off in some progressive workspaces in some cities, my hope is that quiet rooms become more common in our public buildings in Singapore.

Sensory overload

Two years ago, I flew home to Singapore with my Irish-Australian partner, who had not been to Singapore for years. I was keen to show him Singapore’s civic district, so we stayed near the Raffles Hotel. One highlight was the National Gallery. As a reporter who covered Parliament for decades, I had traipsed around the district umpteen times. But this was my first visit to the restored Gallery building.

I found the restoration stunning. The former City Hall and Supreme Court had been transformed into a building with layers of bright spaces and beautiful lines, in a way that paid homage to their past, while melding into a cohesive whole.

As we walked through the Gallery rooms on the ground floor, a flood of memories came rushing back. The City Hall had witnessed so much of Singapore’s early history, including the proclamation of independence, and the swearing in of Singapore’s first Cabinet. A little bit of my personal history was made there – in 1991, I walked up to the Public Service Commission office at City Hall to hand over a cheque that released me from a scholarship bond. In return, I was contracted to work for my new employer, The Straits Times, for eight years. In the event, I stayed for over 30 years, and still continue as an ad hoc columnist. 

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It was close to noon when my partner and I toured the Gallery. Nostalgia, national pride, anxiety to show off my country to my partner, and hunger, made for an uncomfortable mix and I could feel my senses becoming overwrought. My breath became shallow. The lights appeared too bright. Every sound was an assault on my ears. My blood sugar plunged. I felt light-headed. I stilled myself and took some deep breaths. 

We were walking past one gallery when I saw signs to a “Calm Room”. I asked one of the gallery attendants where it was and made a beeline for it. My partner asked if I wanted his company, and I declined. When I feel overwhelmed, I like to retreat to a dim, cool, quiet space by myself, to breathe and to calm down. We agreed to meet in 15 minutes.

In the Calm Room, the lighting was mellow, the colours neutral, the bustle hushed. There were sofas, and throw cushions. I could feel myself calming down quickly. I explored the room to work off my energy, then sat on the sofa. Once I felt at home, I curled up on the sofa and had a rest. No one else came in during the time I was there.

Once stabilised, I could return to the Gallery visit. We stayed on for an enjoyable hour or so, before heading out to find lunch.

The Calm Room at the Gallery is one of several such zones in public spaces. On its website, the National Gallery described the room as a “calm and sensory-friendly” space that can benefit everyone. It explains: “Many people have experienced being overwhelmed by an intense physical environment, or by anxiety and other emotions. The Calm Room offers a space for gentle respite and recalibration for all.

“The Calm Room, designed with the neurodivergent community in mind, is a safe space for autistic persons and persons with sensory processing issues to rest if they experience sensory overload. This may occur when a neurodivergent brain receives more information through the senses than it can process, leading to discomfort that may require self-soothing behaviours to regulate.”

I don’t think I am neurodivergent, but I have had sensory overload experiences more frequently as I age. My (totally unproven) theory is that after decades of over-stimulation, and living life at a fairly frenetic pace, my nervous system is telling me to slow things down and reduce sensory overload. I am listening.

Calm rooms benefit a host of other people too. The National Gallery website added: “The Calm Room also benefits persons with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or with dementia. A person with ADHD can regain focus. Persons living with dementia, who may be prone to sundowning or other forms of confusion, also benefit from a safe space to calm down during episodes.” Sundowning refers to the increased state of confusion and agitation in the late afternoon and evening close to sunset, experienced by some people with dementia.

Quiet hours, quiet spaces

Singapore has many places for people to seek respite from noise and bustle. But most of these are outdoors. A list of 50 quiet spaces in Singapore compiled by wanderlog, a travel website, comprises mostly outdoor parks and beaches. 

We need more quiet areas in public spaces, so that citizens out and about in the city can take a breather to pause and recharge. 

As Singapore gets more crowded, it will likely get more noisy. At the same time, older citizens will desire quiet spaces where they can take a break when out in public. More quiet zones will help cater to them, and create oases of calm around the city.

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I hope more public sector organisations will introduce quiet areas in their work spaces for their staff, and in the public areas for members of the public. 

Some have done so. Dedicated calm or quiet spaces have been set up in the National Museum, National Library branches, dementia day care centres and the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

SportSG is looking at ways to allocate suitable rooms in existing sports centres to be turned into calm or quiet spaces. This is an admirable initiative.

In public facilities such as libraries and museums, quiet zones can be designated by time, not just space. The National Museum has designated quiet mornings, in addition to its Quiet Room. The first Saturday of each month (9am to 11am) and the first and third Thursdays of each month (9am to noon) are Quiet Mornings. 

Some private sector malls are also offering Quiet Hours for shopping – typically in the morning – when lighting is dimmed and music muted.

Imagine if every library, museum, health centre, hospital, polyclinic and government office building has quiet areas for public access – with dim lighting, muted colours and insulated panels – so that the elderly man who has walked too far, the woman with dementia experiencing confusion, the autistic girl who is overwhelmed or the ADHD child having an episode, has a space to decompress and calm down in. Sometimes, this Gen X auntie who likes going out, but who gets overwhelmed by too much noise and crowd, will join them.

Chua Mui Hoong is a pastoral care worker based in Perth and a former Opinion editor of The Straits Times.

why sycide

He was a young man who was admitted to hospital because he felt suicidal. It was nothing new – ever since he started using drugs, he had had these recurring thoughts of self-destruction.

He had done things while he was on drugs, and while trying desperately to get drugs, that filled him with shame and self-loathing. To blot out these feelings, he would get high again. He had gone through rounds of detoxes, stays in halfway houses, and a rotating roster of well-intentioned helpers. And now, once again, he was back in hospital.

After a few days of stay, his mental state appeared to improve; he denied having any ongoing suicidal thoughts, became more communicative, and assured us that he would attend his follow-up appointment with our specialised addiction service. He promised his wife that he would stay at another halfway house, one that had been arranged for by his pastor.

He was assessed to be no longer at imminent risk of harm. He seemed earnest and sincere about wanting to turn over a new leaf, so we discharged him with these well-laid follow-up plans in place.

Two weeks later, he was dead. It was later established that he had taken his own life. 

I was appalled. It wasn’t that, before this, I had not lost patients who died by suicide.

In my profession, there is a saying: “There are two kinds of psychiatrists – those who have had patients who died by suicide, and those who will.” And I had been in practice long enough for that to have happened a few painful times. But this was somewhat different.

Tyranny of addiction

Almost all doctors will encounter patients who are addicted to various substances (in medical parlance, we collectively refer to these conditions as substance use disorders). And what we call an addiction can be defined – in the dry precise language of a standard psychiatric textbook – as “an enduring, inordinately strong tendency to engage in some form of pleasure-producing behaviour in a pattern that is characterised by impaired control and continuation despite harmful consequences”.

The central question is not what makes these substances pleasurable for people in general, but what makes them so much more inexorable and enslaving for those who use them addictively.

There are a myriad of psychoactive substances, and it’s a growing list: from the commonplace and legal, such as alcohol and nicotine, to illicit drugs like methamphetamine, heroin, cannabis, cocaine and Ecstasy, as well as a range of other designer drugs.

This also includes the dangerous repurposing of substances such as fentanyl and ketamine, with the latest being the anaesthetic agent etomidate, which is now being laced into vaping products.

There is a medley of explanations for why people become addicted, with some leaning towards nurture, others towards nature, and some towards a combination of both.

The nature perspective views addiction as a brain disease involving neurological dysfunction.

Studies have shown that the heavy and consistent use of certain substances (stimulants like methamphetamine and opioids like fentanyl) can damage areas of the brain that regulate emotion and behaviour.

Other studies have found differences in brain chemistry between those who are addicted and those who are not.

Helplines

Mental well-being

National helpline: 1771 (24 hours) / 6669-1771 (via WhatsApp)

Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (24 hours CareText via WhatsApp)

Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019

Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928

Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1

Women’s Helpline (Aware): 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm)

The Seniors Helpline: 1800-555-5555 (weekdays, 9am to 5pm)

Counselling

Touchline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252

Touch Care Line (for caregivers): 6804-6555

Counselling and Care Centre: 6536-6366

We Care Community Services: 3165-8017

Shan You Counselling Centre: 6741-9293

Clarity Singapore: 6757-7990

Online resources

mindline.sg/fsmh

eC2.sg

tinklefriend.sg

chat.mentalhealth.sg

carey.carecorner.org.sg (for those aged 13 to 25)

limitless.sg/talk (for those aged 12 to 25)

shanyou.org.sg

For decades, dopamine was considered central to addiction – a 1997 Time Magazine cover even called it “the master molecule of addiction”.

Addictive substances, it was believed, flood the brain’s reward system with dopamine, creating intense pleasure and reinforcing drug use.

But over time, the brain becomes less responsive to other rewards, making drug use compulsive and an insatiable craving – not to feel high but to avoid feeling low.

However, not all abused substances, such as opiates and cannabis, trigger this dopamine surge, and the dopamine-centric model has yet to yield effective treatments.

The nurture camp, by contrast, argues that addiction arises not from a broken brain but from the motivations and contexts surrounding drug use – often as an escape from intolerable conditions such as untreated mental illness, bullying, loneliness, trauma or fraught family environments.

The idea of addiction as a brain-centric disease has also not gone down well with a generally sceptical public.

Many see addiction as a defect of character or a moral failing – an inability to control desire and direct one’s own life. In this view, addiction is a capitulation of will, a surrender to a form of tyranny of one’s own making.

This sense of subjugation was captured by the 19th-century essayist and literary critic Thomas De Quincey in Confessions Of An English Opium-Eater (likely the first literary work to depict drug addiction from a personal and psychological perspective).

De Quincey agonised that what made his use of opium diabolical was not the vivid visions and dreams it induced – which were sublime, as well as surreal and terrifying – but rather the tyranny of the addiction: a malevolent force that seized control over his mind and will.

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A bitter pill

As scientists and clinicians continue to grapple with the mechanisms underlying addiction, this uncertainty that those afflicted – and their loved ones – must live with is a bitter pill to swallow.

Burnout, exhaustion, shame, disgust, rage and mistrust are common among those caring for someone constantly in search of the next hit. The same person they once loved and trusted has, through addiction, morphed into someone they may not even trust to be left alone, let alone with anything that could be stolen and sold.

Yet guilt often accompanies this bitter resentment of a parent, sibling, child or spouse who is clearly struggling with his or her own personal hell.

It is understandable, then, that many would seek to relieve themselves of such ambivalent and conflicting emotions.

This is, in part, why it can feel easier (and tempting) to view addiction in absolute terms: either as a choice or as a disease, justifying the anger in the first instance and pity in the second.

Research consistently shows that negative attitudes towards substance users among health professionals are common.

Such attitudes are associated with reduced empathy and engagement, withholding of treatment services, and poorer treatment outcomes.

This stigmatisation – marked by labelling, stereotyping and discrimination – towards people with substance use disorders often surpasses the stigma directed at patients with serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, which are themselves already highly stigmatised.

This was very much the case with the public as well – as we found in a study in 2023 that examined the attitudes in Singapore towards mental disorders.

“People were more likely to perceive a person who abuses alcohol as being weak, not sick, and dangerous and unpredictable as compared with (those with) other mental health conditions examined in our survey,” said Associate Professor Mythily Subramaniam of the Institute of Mental Health, who led the study.

She added: “Such biased attitudes also undermine the willingness to seek help. Those who feel stigmatised are less likely to seek help, and, if they do, they are more likely to drop out of treatment.”

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Confronting biases

When I heard that the patient had died, I felt a different kind of guilt.

I recalled that frisson of resignation and resentment while reading through his past medical records before our first encounter – thinking that it would be yet another futile effort.

I also remember feeling relieved that I could refer him to a colleague with specialist expertise in addiction. I felt that I did not quite have what it took – in terms of knowledge, experience, and inclination to manage patients with substance use disorders.

I was chastened by his suicide, and it was cold comfort to read studies showing that negative attitudes vary with the level of clinical training. Addiction specialists tend to hold more positive attitudes than general psychiatrists like myself or primary care physicians.

It suggests some sort of connection between professionals’ knowledge and skills and their attitudes, highlighting the critical role of what these papers referred to as “self-efficacy” in shaping professional behaviour. 

And so, despite the wide range of evidence-based treatments available for addiction – from detoxification and transitional housing, to inpatient and outpatient rehabilitation, peer support, various forms of psychotherapy and counselling, and a number of effective medications – recent research has shown that most of these treatments remain underused.

Many people have a simplistic view of addiction. They think it happens only to dysfunctional people from dysfunctional families, or with those with “weak character” with anti-social tendencies. In reality, addiction affects people of all races, genders and segments of society. There is no single cause or single cure for addiction, and no easy, unambiguous answers to the many conundrums of addiction.

Yet there are those who have managed to turn their lives around. How they manage to do so often seems a mystery to me.

But I’ve seen that some people can change when they are faced with dire consequences – often when they hit rock bottom – but also when they have hope and support that change is possible. 

As health professionals, we must provide some of that hope and support, tempered with a compassionate attitude as expected of us. More addiction training and greater clinical experience in this area would certainly help.

What may be harder, however, is learning to confront and overcome our biases, and to truly see the humanity in those struggling with addiction. If we allow those biases to persist unchecked, they will cloud our understanding and distance us from the very people who need our help.

Professor Chong Siow Ann is a senior consultant psychiatrist at the Institute of Mental Health.

Korra high sucide rate

SEOUL - South Korea’s life expectancy reached 83.5 years as of 2023, surpassing by 2.4 years the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development’s (OECD) average of 81.1 years, a report released by the Paris-based organisation showed on July 30.

The same OECD Health Statistics 2025 report released via South Korea’s Ministry of Health and Welfare showed that the country continues to report the highest suicide rate among OECD member nations, despite progress in life expectancy and health outcomes.

Life expectancy refers to the average number of years a newborn is expected to live based on current mortality trends. Indicators also show improvements in medical outcomes.

South Korea’s avoidable mortality rate, which refers to the average number of deaths from preventable causes, stood at 151 per 100,000 people in 2022, significantly lower than the OECD average of 228.6.

A lower number means the quality of the medical environment is higher.

The rate has declined by 3.1 per cent on a yearly average over the past decade, indicating a steady improvement in health care quality.

The country’s infant mortality rate was also lower, at 2.5 deaths per 1,000 live births, compared with the OECD average of 4.1.

High suicide, smoking rates with rising obesity

Since 2003, the country has topped the list in suicide mortality.

The latest comparable data from 2022 showed South Korea’s suicide rate stood at 23.2 deaths per 100,000 people — more than twice the OECD average of 10.7.

At the same time, there have been signs of gradual improvement.

From 2012 to 2022, South Korea’s suicide rate dropped by 23.4 per cent, from 30.3 to 23.2, outpacing the OECD average decline of 16.4 per cent over the same period.

In 2023, South Korea’s current health expenditure amounted to 8.5 per cent of gross domestic product, slightly lower than the OECD average of 9.1 per cent.

However, due to the rapidly aging population, per capita health spending has grown faster than in most countries.

South Korea’s per capita health expenditure rose by an average of 7.8 per cent annually over the past decade, compared to the OECD average increase of 5.2 per cent.

In terms of purchasing power parity, which is a yardstick for comparing the purchasing power of different currencies, the figure stood at US$4,586 (S$5,900) per capita in 2023.

In 2023, 15.3 per cent of South Koreans aged 15 and older were classified as daily smokers, higher than the OECD average of 13.2 per cent. However, the smoking rate has been steadily declining, down from 19.9 per cent in 2013 and 17.5 per cent in 2018.

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Meanwhile, per capita annual alcohol consumption was 7.8 litres in 2023, below the OECD average of 8.6 litres. Alcohol intake, similar to smoking, has trended downwards over the past decade.

Despite lower rates of overweight and obesity compared with other OECD countries, South Korea is seeing a gradual rise in obesity.

In 2023, 36.5 per cent of people aged 15 and over had a body mass index of 25 or higher – the second-lowest among OECD countries after Japan at 26 per cent. While still low in ranking, this marked an increase from 31.5 per cent in 2013 and 34.3 per cent in 2018. THE KOREA HERALD/ASIA NEWS NETWORK

Helplines

Mental well-being

National helpline: 1771 (24 hours) / 6669-1771 (via WhatsApp)

Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (24 hours CareText via WhatsApp)

Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019

Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928

Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1

Women’s Helpline (Aware): 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm)

The Seniors Helpline: 1800-555-5555 (weekdays, 9am to 5pm)

Counselling

Touchline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252

Touch Care Line (for caregivers): 6804-6555

Counselling and Care Centre: 6536-6366

We Care Community Services: 3165-8017

Shan You Counselling Centre: 6741-9293

Clarity Singapore: 6757-7990

Online resources

mindline.sg/fsmh

eC2.sg

tinklefriend.sg

chat.mentalhealth.sg

carey.carecorner.org.sg (for those aged 13 to 25)

limitless.sg/talk (for those aged 12 to 25)

shanyou.org.sg

death by sucide

In 2024, suicide deaths among men and women in their 30s rose to 75 – the highest increase across all age groups.

This was one of the details that stood out in the latest report by the Samaritans of Singapore, which revealed that 314 people in Singapore took their own lives in 2024.

Numbers can rise and fall year to year, but adults aged 30 to 39 now make up almost a quarter of all suicides here. That can’t be explained by population growth alone. It reflects how heavy life can feel in this middle decade.

We like to imagine the 30s as a “prime” decade. Careers should be secure and growing, families are forming, health is still on our side. For many, this image does not match reality. Instead, the 30s can feel like a decade of colliding responsibilities.

Helplines

Mental well-being

National helpline: 1771 (24 hours) / 6669-1771 (via WhatsApp)

Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (24 hours CareText via WhatsApp)

Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019

Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928

Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1

Women’s Helpline (Aware): 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm)

The Seniors Helpline: 1800-555-5555 (weekdays, 9am to 5pm)

Counselling

Touchline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252

Touch Care Line (for caregivers): 6804-6555

Counselling and Care Centre: 6536-6366

We Care Community Services: 3165-8017

Shan You Counselling Centre: 6741-9293

Clarity Singapore: 6757-7990

Online resources

mindline.sg/fsmh

eC2.sg

tinklefriend.sg

chat.mentalhealth.sg

carey.carecorner.org.sg (for those aged 13 to 25)

limitless.sg/talk (for those aged 12 to 25)

shanyou.org.sg

The private worlds of the 30s

A man wakes up, puts on his office clothes and boards the MRT as usual. He lost his job months ago but has not told his spouse. He spends the day in a library, scrolling through job ads, rehearsing imaginary interviews and wondering how much longer he can keep up the act.

A mother leaves work on time each day to fetch her children from childcare. She smiles at the gate, chats with other parents, and goes home to cook, feed, bathe and coax the kids to bed. She is also caring for her father-in-law with dementia. After the house is quiet, she sits on the kitchen floor and cries, convinced that she cannot keep going.

A person picks up the spouse’s phone and sees a string of messages confirming a relationship with someone else. The next day, it’s about going through the motions – nods in meetings, replies to e-mails, and forcing a smile when colleagues ask about family. That night, the person spends an hour in the carpark, staring at the dark dashboard, unsure how to walk back into a life that now feels like a lie.

These stories are not rare. They are lived silently in homes across the island. Suicide often seems sudden to outsiders, but it is usually the final impulsive chapter of a long, quiet, heart-wrenching battle.

Work is often the sharpest edge. The 30s are often the years of chasing promotions, trying to stay relevant in a fast-changing economy or bracing yourself for layoffs. Some push through long hours while quietly fearing stagnation.

Finances loom large. Mortgages and car loans need to be paid. Some are supporting younger children while also facing the cost of ageing parents. Others are still recovering from failed ventures or unexpected debts.

Relationships add their own weight. Marriage, divorce or the heartbreak of a long-term relationship ending can leave deep scars. Parenthood, if it comes, is a blessing that often arrives with exhaustion.

Men and women in their 30s carry the same heavy load, though often in different ways.

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Men, women, and the ways we cope

Of the 314 suicides in 2024, 202 were men. This pattern is seen worldwide: Men die by suicide more often, though women attempt more frequently. Psychiatrists call this the “gender paradox” of suicide.

Men in Singapore are still raised in a culture that prizes self-reliance. The unspoken lesson is to solve problems alone, to protect one’s pride and avoid appearing weak.

Many hesitate to tell a friend or family member how much they are struggling. Even when someone notices, they often say “I’m fine”, because admitting despair feels like failure. When a man does attempt suicide, he is more likely to use a lethal method. A single impulsive act, often fuelled by shame or alcohol, can be fatal.

Women carry a different burden. Many juggle work with caregiving for children and parents. They may face postnatal depression, the loneliness of single parenting, or the slow erosion of confidence from an emotionally abusive relationship.

Women tend to reach out for help earlier, confiding in friends, siblings or colleagues. But reaching out does not always mean receiving support. Social networks can be thin, and not every story of struggle is met with understanding.

The stressors themselves are often similar: work insecurity, financial strain, relationship breakdowns and the exhaustion of caregiving. What differs is how pain is expressed, how it is hidden and how society responds.

Spotting people at risk in their 30s is hard. Life at this stage is busy, compartmentalised and often lonely. Adults can hide distress behind routines. Social circles shrink as university friends drift away and colleagues remain at the level of casual banter.

The early signs are subtle, and detection relies on small acts of noticing. But many of us hesitate to ask twice if someone is okay. Sometimes we do not want to intrude. Sometimes we fear the answer.

Prevention must happen where adults live and work

Often, prevention is spoken of in the context of crisis lines. But if we want to save lives in this age group, we need to reach people where they spend their time: mainly workplaces and community spaces. It is about building human connection and a net of layers before a crisis hits.

The first layer is awareness.

We need campaigns showing that suicide can happen to ordinary men and women in their 30s, and that seeking help is an act of strength, not shame. They should also show real stories in familiar local settings, such as coffee shops, gyms and offices, which could help people see themselves and their loved ones in the message.

Awareness opens the door to prevention.

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In the UK, Norwich City Football Club released a short film for World Mental Health Day. It followed two male friends through a football season.

One seemed withdrawn and lonely, the other cheerful and outgoing. Viewers assumed the quiet man would die by suicide. In the final scene, it was the smiling friend who took his life.

The film went viral, with more than 300 million views and thousands reaching out to Samaritans for help. Its strength lay in meeting men where they were: in a football culture they understood, while dismantling stereotypes about who might be at risk.

The second layer is workplaces, where adults spend most of their time.

Workplaces are a natural front line. Managers are often the first to notice absenteeism, slipping performance or withdrawal. Companies can create safer environments by:

• Training managers to recognise distress and respond without judgment;

• Offering confidential counselling through Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs);

• Normalising mental health days and check-ins; and

• Encouraging peer support, so colleagues quietly look out for one another.

Men, in particular, benefit when emotional conversations are normalised in settings they already trust. Women may find support in parenting or caregiving networks, but many still need spaces where they can admit burnout without shame.

Managers can learn to spot withdrawal or sudden changes, respond with empathy and connect staff to support like counselling or EAPs.

The third layer is community support. Parenting groups, gyms, alumni networks and neighbourhood activities can be lifelines, especially when they make space for honest conversations. Men often need encouragement to talk; women need safe, non-judgmental spaces to share burnout and emotional pain.

The fourth layer is people themselves.

Friends, siblings and colleagues are often the first to notice someone slipping away. Simple skills, like asking if someone is okay, listening without judgment and knowing where to guide them, can save lives.

The net must include professional and crisis services like the Samaritans, general practitioners and mental health professionals. When the other layers guide someone to this level early, the chance of survival rises sharply.

A quiet call to action

The reality is that a net like this is not built overnight.

It is stitched together by thousands of small human actions: a manager who checks in, a neighbour who asks twice, a friend who offers to accompany someone to counselling. These layers of connection, repeated across society, keep people tethered to life.

Even as suicides among people in their 30s rise, there is hope. Behind every number is a life that can still be saved, and prevention does not belong to experts alone. It belongs to all of us.

We cannot assume someone else will step in. A culture where it is safe to speak up, and where reaching out is seen as courage, can save lives.

If we notice, if we ask, and if we care enough to act, we become part of the net that keeps people tethered to life.

No one should have to carry the weight of their 30s, or any stage of life, alone. Together, we can make sure they do not.

Dr Jared Ng is a psychiatrist in private practice and a board member of Samaritans of Singapore, where he supports community efforts in suicide prevention.

Gasper Tan is chief executive of Samaritans of Singapore, leading its crisis support, volunteer network and public education initiatives.

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cooking for teens

ESINGAPORE – Korean army stew, mapo tofu and pasta with fennel and sausage are some of the dishes that 13-year-old Sylvie Black whips up on a regular basis.

Sylvie, who started learning to cook under supervision around the age of six, has 2,300 recipes saved on Pinterest.

The Year 9 student at an international school is a fan of British celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal, whose creations – such as a chocolate “nest” dessert, surrounded by dry ice – display a kind of “mystical” artistry, she says.

Sylvie and her 15-year-old sister have been involved in making family meals since they were younger. Their mother, Ms Penelope Foo, the founder of a cooking school called Hungry Mummies, used to suggest cooking together if they came back from school feeling down. They would bake puff pastry laced with cheese and pesto, scarfing the snacks hot from the oven.

Ms Foo, a 43-year-old divorcee, says: “Cooking also kept the children from bickering. The calm would take over and you go into a flow state.”

Sylvie, who cooks at home at least once a week, describes it as a journey of self-discovery.

She says: “When I was a kid, I didn’t understand the point of cooking because you could’ve just bought the food. As I got older, I realised that making food is not about convenience. It was more about what you like and what you’re capable of.”

She used to prefer baking before experimenting with savoury Thai and Korean dishes, then delving into exploring individual ingredients.

She says: “Making people happy with my food is definitely my goal. Knowing I can make a dish again is empowering.”

Mapo tofu, a spiced tofu dish cooked with minced pork, is part of teenager Sylvie Black's homecooking repertoire. ST PHOTO: KELVIN CHNG

Growing appetite for cooking classes

Teenagers who cook for their families are rare in a culture where takeaways and express food delivery is common, and where even adults may not cook regularly.

Even though young people face barriers to becoming home cooks, some service providers are reporting growing demand for cooking programmes for children and teens.

Mr Daniel Tan is the founder of cooking school Food Playground in Chinatown. He says his school holiday cooking programmes for children, aged 10 to 18, have seen a 15 per cent year-on-year increase in participation since they were launched in 2020.

Food Playground’s two-day cooking camps first drew interest from parents wanting to keep their kids occupied during the Covid-19 pandemic, he says. They start at $300 and children learn how to cook dishes like chicken char siew, char kway teow and shepherd’s pie.

“Because of their busy lifestyles, most parents do not cook often. Usually, they get their domestic helpers to do the cooking. Still, they do realise the importance of cooking, baking and knowing about nutrition as life skills for their children,” says Mr Tan.

He adds that young people were also drawn in by shows like Culinary Class Wars (2024), a South Korean cooking competition on Netflix.

Over at Faith Acts, a charity based in Queenstown, its weekly in-house Junior Chef programme for primary schoolchildren has expanded since 2021 to include cooking workshops at two primary schools, says its head of youth services Brian Zhang.

Mr Zhang says that learning to cook helps children gain confidence quickly. He has seen them no longer afraid of using a knife a few months into the programme, whereas learning to play music with a degree of proficiency, for instance, takes longer.

He says: “The pupils enjoy the sessions. A lot of them are excited to da bao (takeaway) the dishes they made for their parents. But many parents may not be confident about letting them cook at home.”

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The obstacles facing youth who may want to cook more include parents’ anxiety about their child using a gas stove at home; parents and their older offspring returning from work or school late and feeling too tired to cook a meal; the adults not having the time to shop for groceries; and a reluctance to wash up and clean the kitchen afterwards, says Mr Zhang.

Ms Foo has seen demand at Hungry Mummies’ cooking classes for children and teenagers rise about 30 per cent from 2023. She teaches young people from six to 18 how to cook dishes such as Korean fried chicken, miso ramen, salmon fried rice and lava cake.

Lessons at Hungry Mummies, which she launched in 2014 from her Telok Blangah HDB flat, start at $90 for a two-hour session.

“I teach more kids than I do adults now,” says Ms Foo. She adds that the adults who took her classes included 40-somethings whose mothers never allowed them into the kitchen, asking them to study instead.

She has noticed a “disconnect” with some young people when it comes to local foods. Some participants cannot distinguish between ingredients such as ginger, garlic and onion, or identify what a spatula is.

She has also encountered children who do not know what “tau gay” is, calling them “bean sprouts” or “dou ya”, the Mandarin equivalent, instead.

TikTok recipes versus traditional cooking

Providers and families say the benefits of having their children cook, usually once a week on weekends, extend beyond family bonding.

A spokesperson at self-help group Singapore Indian Development Association (Sinda) says: “There has been a steady interest in cooking-themed workshops among children and teens in recent years. Such Sinda programmes usually see full registration, especially among families with children aged six to 14.

“When children cook regularly at home, they are also able to contribute meaningfully to household needs This helps build self-esteem, responsibility and a sense of ownership – qualities that spill over into other areas of life, such as schoolwork or leadership roles.”

Jaswant Yoon Kai Jie Muthu, 17, (right) with his father, Mr Mike Muthu Sangaiillai, a manager in the construction industry, enjoys cooking with his parents once a week. ST PHOTO: SHINTARO TAY

Jaswant Yoon Kai Jie Muthu, 17, is a volunteer at Faith Acts’ Junior Chef programme, which he participated in as a primary school pupil.

Jaswant, now a first-year polytechnic student, says: “As a child learning about cooking, I also learnt resilience. There were times when our food got burnt and we were sad. There would be multiple opinions and I would wonder, why did they say that about my food? But I learnt to take in constructive feedback.”

Jaswant, an only child, enjoys cooking dishes like carbonara on the weekend with his parents. His mother, 49, is a clerk and his father, 51, is a manager at a construction firm.

He says: “There are things that modern chefs don’t teach. It’s good to keep traditional methods as they are the heart of cooking.”

He looks for recipes on Instagram and TikTok. One advised him to use tomato puree for the classic Chinese dish of tomato and eggs, which his mum vetoed in favour of fresh tomatoes.

Helping to lighten the load

Lukesh Terrence Jessen, 14, (right) and his mother Ms Shamala Masilamany, a marketing and finance manager, show the kampung fried rice with chicken dish he cooked, a family recipe. ST PHOTO: LIM YAOHUI

Secondary 2 student Lukesh Terrence Jessen, 14, is one of several home cooks in his six-member family. His parents and his eldest brother also like to cook. Lukesh has a twin brother and an eight-year-old sister.

Lukesh participated in the second season of Vasantham Junior Chef, a cooking competition for children that aired on meWatch in 2024.

He has had his share of cooking mishaps since he started cooking in earnest around the age of 12. He has burnt dishes, added too much salt, and had hot oil splatter on him.

He likes cooking dishes like quesadillas, lime and cilantro chicken, and Ramly burgers.

He says: “I improved my knife skills through watching YouTube videos and I cook from the heart. The satisfaction comes when you put in so much hard work and people compliment your dish. I prefer home-cooked food as there’s no better food than my mother’s cooking.”

His mother, marketing and finance manager Shamala Masilamany, is the household’s primary cook most of the time.

With Lukesh, her husband, aged 40, and her 26-year-old eldest child chipping in, the family’s domestic requirements are better understood and shared.

Ms Shamala says: “Cooking is not a gendered role. I’m happy that when my family members see I’m tired, my husband will cook, the boys will clean the kitchen. They say, ‘Talk to us instead.’”

Kampung fried rice with chicken

Kampung fried rice and chicken, a family recipe cooked by Lukesh Terrence Jessen, 14. ST PHOTO: LIM YAOHUI

A family recipe from Lukesh Terrence Jessen, 14, and his mother, Ms Shamala Masilamany, 45.

Ingredients

Paste for fried rice:

1 large red onion, sliced

3 large garlic cloves, sliced

Chillies – adjust spice level to preference, from none to 3 whole red chilli padis and 3 whole green chilli padis for a spicy kick

1 chicken stock cube

Chicken marinade:

½ tsp turmeric powder

1 tsp chilli powder

1 tsp chicken curry powder

1 tbsp cornflour

½ tsp sesame oil

A pinch of salt

5 chicken drumlets

3 eggs

1 handful of ikan bilis

6 stalks of kang kong sliced if preferred

2 tbsp oyster sauce

Salt to taste

Overnight rice roughly the amount from 1½ standard paper cups of uncooked rice

Canola oil

1 small cucumber, sliced, for garnish

Instructions

1. Mix the chicken marinade ingredients with the chicken drumlets and marinade for two hours.

2. Blend the ingredients for the fried rice paste in a food processor.

3. Fry ikan bilis in some canola oil in a wok or large pan. Remove the ikan bilis and set aside.

4. Put the blended fried rice paste in the oil that has been flavoured by the ikan bilis, and fry the paste until it is cooked.

5. Add the 3 eggs.

6. Add the oyster sauce.

7. Add the leftover cooked rice.

8. Add the kang kong.

9. Add the ikan bilis that had been removed earlier.

10. Add salt to taste, if desired.

11. Dish out and plate the fried rice.

12. In a pan, fry the marinaded chicken in about 3cm of canola oil over medium heat.

13. When the chicken is fully cooked through, remove from the oil and serve with the fried rice.

14. Add sliced cucumber to garnish.

Serves three

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Venessa Lee is a feature writer and senior correspondent at The Straits Times.

15 months before buying hdb

SINGAPORE – Private home owners looking to buy a non-subsidised resale Housing Board flat must wait 15 months after selling their property. Introduced in 2022, the 15-month wait-out period was aimed at curbing demand from cash-rich downgraders.

National Development Minister Chee Hong Tat said recently that private property owners may not need to wait till 2027 or 2028 for a review of the wait-out requirement.

Here is what you need to know about the policy, its implications and why a change may be coming sooner than expected.

What is the 15-month wait-out period?

Introduced in September 2022, the 15-month wait-out period requires former and current owners of private homes to wait 15 months after selling their private property before they can buy a non-subsidised HDB resale flat.

This rule does not apply to those 55 and over who are buying a four-room or smaller resale flat.

Why was the rule implemented?

The wait-out period was introduced to help cool down the HDB resale market, which was heating up partly due to demand from private property downgraders flush with capital.

These buyers were seen as contributing to price surges, outbidding first-time home buyers in the resale market as they generally have more means to buy resale flats.

What was the impact of the rule?

Prices of resale HDB flats grew at a slower pace, suggesting that the temporary removal of private downgraders helped ease upward pressure on resale flat prices.

However, once the first batch of affected private home owners completed their wait-out period, the market saw a resurgence in activity, said real estate agency ERA Singapore’s key executive officer Eugene Lim.

In the first three months of 2024, 7,068 resale HDB flats changed hands, accompanied by a 1.8 per cent quarter-on-quarter increase in the HDB resale price index – the steepest since the rule took effect, Mr Lim pointed out.

The momentum continued into the second quarter of 2024 with a 2.3 per cent price increase, signalling that returning private buyers were a key force driving renewed demand and price growth.

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However, this rebound tapered slightly in the first three months of 2025, when the resale price index quarterly growth slowed to 1.6 per cent.

A likely factor was the large Sale of Balance Flats exercise in February 2025, which increased flat availability and absorbed some of the demand that would have otherwise gone to the resale market, explained Mr Lim.

The 15-month wait-out period also pushed many private home owners, particularly those needing immediate housing after selling their properties, into the rental market.

This has contributed to stronger rental demand and upward pressure on rents for bigger HDB flats and also mass-market condos. 

What might change, and why now?

The Housing Board will be launching more than 50,000 units from 2025 to 2027, said Mr Chee on June 21.

Mr Chee said he expected the effect of a strong continued supply of new Build-To-Order flats and resale units would moderate resale prices, making it timely for the authorities to consider if the 15-month cooling measure should be partially or entirely removed.

More flats will also hit the market as they complete their minimum occupation period (MOP) – a mandatory stay period (typically five years) before owners are allowed to sell them on the resale market.

About 13,500 flats will reach their MOP in 2026, up from 8,000 in 2025. In 2028, this will rise to 19,500 flats.

What is the expected impact of this on the residential property market?

Mr Lim of ERA expects a rise in demand and prices of resale HDB flats in mature estates if the 15-month rule is relaxed or lifted.

“This is due to their well-established amenities as well as transport connectivity, which are strong draws for right-sizers and family buyers alike,” he said.

Ms Christine Sun, chief researcher and strategist of property agency OrangeTee Group, said prices of five-room and bigger flats may continue to experience a gradual price increase.

However, the increased supply in the pipeline could help to mitigate the risk of soaring prices after the relaxation of rules, she added.

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Who will stand to benefit?

Private home owners under 55 are likely to benefit the most if the rule is lifted earlier than expected.

This is especially true for those who are cash-tight, as it would allow them to sell their condominium or landed property, and secure a replacement HDB home within a shorter timeframe, said Mr Lim.

Seniors who want bigger flats would also have more options.

Home owners of bigger flats who are looking to sell would also benefit from higher demand.

airport lounges

UNITED STATES – It was only when my partner and I arrived at Orlando Airport in May that I realised my crucial error: I had forgotten to pre-book the one lounge to which I had access.

The Club MCO lounge was full, so we joined the queue to enter our names in the much-longer digital queue.

After 20 minutes of standing around, we gained entrance to what looked like a breakfast buffet at a budget hotel: beige walls, tired carpets and a small selection of food that looked far less appetising than the options at Bahama Breeze, the wonderfully tacky, Caribbean-themed restaurant in the terminal.

Sipping on a weak gin and tonic, and picking at a sad cup of gummy bears, I had to ask myself: Why exactly was I so desperate to be here?

There have never been more airport lounges. Yet there are also seemingly more lounges that are not worth the hassle. Many are forlorn. Many others are overcrowded. Sometimes, the lines for the lounges are the longest in the airport. Yet people all still fight to get in.

Many will choose to fork over too much in credit card fees or commit to flying on one airline to gain entry to these spaces, because they still believe the lounges offer a taste of luxury amid the stress of travel.

In the smartphone age, people have been sold on the idea that travel is no longer just about the act itself, but about being seen to be travelling – and being seen to do so in style. Just do not tell those sitting at Bahama Breeze that they are probably having a better time.

A month after my sojourn at Orlando Airport, I would question my lounge loyalty again, this time after receiving an e-mail alerting me that the annual fee for my Chase Sapphire Reserve card – a premium credit card favoured by my fellow millennials, which comes with access to lounges around the world – was jumping from US$550 (S$640) to an eye-popping US$795.

This new fee was accompanied by a confusing raft of other changes designed to justify the bump, such as a US$500 resort credit, US$300 to spend at a list of restaurants and membership to Apple Music.

But even as I dived into this complicated mental mathematics and debated whether I was ready to leave Spotify, my eye fell to the photo embedded in the e-mail of the new, convolutedly named Chase Sapphire Lounge by the Club at the Philadelphia International Airport.

Although I had flown through the city only once in my lifetime, I still found it alluring. The space resembled a sexy bar in a ritzy hotel lobby, complete with plush furnishings and mood lighting that appeared flattering enough to make even the most weary traveller look like James Bond sipping a martini.

While Chase has built a handful of fancy clubs (with plans for more), most of those my card gives me access to are decidedly less glamorous. In some of them, with their cubed cheese and powdered eggs, I have felt less like Bond and more like Melissa McCarthy’s frumpy cat lady in the 2015 action comedy, Spy.

Mr Ben Schlappig understands my sentiments. The founder of the flight and travel website One Mile at a Time estimates he has visited more than 500 lounges since he began chronicling his globe-trotting in 2008. He cites unpleasantries such as overcrowding and sitting next to someone exhibiting what he calls “airport behaviour” (like chatting loudly on a speakerphone).

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Occasionally, when he knows a lounge will be one of the sad ones where the buffet seems like “a feeding trough”, Mr Schlappig – who has premier status with American AAdvantage and Air France-KLM Flying Blue – prefers to simply wait by the gate.

“At some point,” he told me, “when everybody has lounge access, it’s almost like nobody does.”

It certainly feels like everybody does. Collinson, the company behind Priority Pass, reported a 31 per cent increase in lounge visits in 2024 compared with the year before.

More than half of frequent travellers visit lounges, according to a survey in 2024 by Airport Dimensions. The market research firm Research and Markets predicted the US$4.21 billion airport lounge industry will more than double by 2029.

Once reserved mostly for older, frequent business travellers, lounges are increasingly being invaded by people like me: millennials who baulk at the cost of a first-class ticket but can afford an annual credit card fee.

Even though demand for travel appears to be waning amid an uncertain economy, what has not changed is the extent to which social media and influencer culture peddle these lounges as a key ingredient of the good life.

With interest through the roof, little wonder that the lounge industry is becoming embroiled in something of an arms race. Credit card companies like Chase and Capital One race to erect fancier lounges to satisfy increasing domestic demand. International airlines are going further to attract those truly wealthy customers willing to fork over thousands for top-class travel.

In Helsinki, Finland, you can take a sauna before consuming a reindeer burger. In Doha, Qatar, you can relax in a Jacuzzi, drive in a Formula One racing simulator or take a nap in a private bedroom.

In Paris, you can dine in a private suite on food prepared by the renowned chef Alain Ducasse, then be driven in a luxury sedan on a tarmac to your plane.

In addition to building more lounges, many operators are trying to thin the herds by making it harder to get in. Capital One announced that in 2026, it will take steps to limit access for members seeking to bring additional cardholders and guests, mirroring recent steps taken by Delta Air Lines and United Airlines.

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One credit card company is dispensing with the airport altogether. American Express now operates a private club in Manhattan for select holders of its Centurion Card – known as the Black Card – part of a wave of pricey members-only clubs that have recently been repopularised in cities around the world.

Airports and planes have long been places where people are regularly and openly sorted into classes, and there is something innately human about striving (or paying) to get to the top. While many of these lounges feel crowded and unremarkable, they still allow you to cosplay, however briefly, as a VIP.

All this complaining is, of course, deeply frivolous in the grand scheme of things. Travel is a privilege. But money is also precious and it is all right to question what people are being sold.

That said, there is one type of airport lounge that I remain deeply committed to: the arrivals lounge.

During a recent long-haul flight from New York to see family in Sydney, Australia, my plane stopped in Auckland, New Zealand, after almost 18 mind-numbing hours of flying. When I cleared customs and waited for my final connection to Australia, I raced to the nearest Priority Pass lounge and took the most incredible shower of my life. I would have paid whatever it had asked. NYTIMES

avoid toxic ppl and activities

At 99, billionaire Charlie Munger shared how to avoid major mistakes in life: Dodge ‘toxic people and toxic activities’

Published Tue, Dec 5 202311:27 AM ESTUpdated Tue, Dec 5 20231:02 PM EST

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Mike Winters

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Charlie Munger

Charlie MungerLacy O’Toole | CNBC

Avoiding mistakes in business and life comes down a few simple things, according to billionaire investor Charlie Munger, who died last week at age 99: good financial habits, integrity and “avoiding toxic people and toxic activities.”

Munger shared the advice during a Q&A session at Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholders meeting in May.

An investing icon in his own right, Munger was the long-time business partner of Warren Buffett, the enormously successful investor and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. For decades, shareholders have flocked to the company’s annual meeting just to hear Buffett and Munger’s advice.

People are “almost certain to succeed” if they spend less than they earn, invest shrewdly, learn continually and remain disciplined, Munger continued. Without those traits, you’ll need a lot of luck to be successful, he said.

As for avoiding toxic people, look out for those “who are trying to fool you or lie to you or aren’t reliable in meeting their commitments,” Munger said. “A great lesson of life is get them the hell out of your life — and do it fast.”

Munger’s advice echoes comments he made in 2019 to CNBC’s Becky Quick about living a “long and happy life.”

The secret to a happy life is being cheerful despite your troubles, and avoiding traits commonly associated with toxic people, like envy or resentment, Munger said. As a rule, you should “deal with reliable people, and you do what you’re supposed to do.”

“All these simple rules work so well to make your life better. And they’re so trite,” Munger said in 2019.

At the shareholders meeting in May, Buffett shared his own thoughts on the topic. To him, most major mistakes in life can be avoided by simply being a good person who acts with integrity.

In making his point, Buffett recalled advice he received from his longtime friend and business partner Tom Murphy: “You can always tell someone to go to hell tomorrow.”

“Think about what great advice it is when you sit down at a computer and screw your life up forever by telling someone to go to hell, or something else, in 30 seconds and you can’t erase it,” Buffett said.

In other words, think twice about giving someone a piece of your mind. As tempting as it may be in the moment, it’s likely not worth the long-term risk to your reputation. After all, how you treat others is a reflection of your own values.

“Write your obituary and figure out how to live up to it,” he said, adding that he’s never known a kind person who “died without friends.”

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chronic tiredness

LONDON - Researchers at the University of Edinburgh said on Aug 6 they have discovered differences in the DNA of people with chronic fatigue syndrome that should help dispel the notion that the debilitating condition is psychological or driven by laziness.

Their study found eight areas of genetic code that are different in people with myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) than in healthy volunteers.

The finding provides “the first robust evidence that genes contribute to a person’s chance of developing the disease,” the researchers said in a statement.

The key features of the condition include worsening of fatigue, pain and brain fog after even minor physical or mental activity.

Very little has been known about the causes of ME/CFS, and there is no diagnostic test or cure. The condition is believed to affect around 67 million people worldwide, the researchers said.

The DecodeME study analysed DNA samples from 15,579 people who reported having chronic fatigue on a questionnaire and 259,909 people without it, all of European descent.

Gene variants that were more common in people reporting ME/CFS were linked to the immune and nervous systems, according to a report of the study that has not yet been peer-reviewed.

At least two of the gene regions relate to how the body responds to infection, which aligns with reports that the symptoms often start after an infectious illness, the researchers said.

Another gene region has previously been identified in people with chronic pain, another common symptom of the condition.

The findings “align with decades of patients reporting on their experiences,” researcher Andy Devereux-Cooke said in a statement, adding that they “should prove game changing in the ME/CFS research field.”

“These results will not mean that a test or cure will be developed straight away, but they will lead to a greater understanding,” he said.

Scientists who were not involved in the study said using volunteers who self-reported chronic fatigue syndrome rather than restricting participation to those with a diagnosis from a medical professional somewhat weakened its conclusions. They called for larger studies to replicate the results.

Substantial work will be necessary “to translate these findings into new treatments,” said Dr Jackie Cliff, who studies infection and immunity in ME/CFS at Brunel University of London. “This will take considerable investment in academia and by industry.” AFP

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