Although I was initially hesitant, I gradually came round to the idea. He had been working hard to prepare for his exams and it would be a well-deserved break for him and his buddies.
While it would be his first unchaperoned trip with friends, it would also be the last time they would be able to travel together for a while, as they would be enlisting for national service in 2025.
Apart from giving some advice and tips, my husband and I left him and his friends to plan the trip.
They researched on various destinations in neighbouring countries, before settling on a budget-friendly one.
After the boys got permission from their parents, they looked for the best deals for air tickets and decided to take a budget airline.
To keep costs low, they did not buy check-in luggage and instead made do with 7kg of hand-carry baggage allowance.
I’m glad that while they wanted to travel, they were cognisant about minimising expenses.
They found a basic but clean budget hotel for the first part of the trip, before moving on to a more comfortable one.
He said he got the idea from our family travels. Years ago, when my husband and I took our kids to Ho Chi Minh City, we stayed five days at a new hotel with tiny rooms in the city, before moving to a villa in the countryside for the last three days.
When they complained about the size of the first hotel room, which had barely any walking space after we put in an extra bed, I explained that saving on accommodation cost on the first leg would allow us to stay in a nice hotel the last few days without blowing our budget.
I’m glad that lesson stayed with him.
Navigating the decision-making process
After booking their air tickets and hotels, they hunkered down to prepare for their exams.
So, when I asked him about his travel itinerary just before he left, he said all they had was a general idea of activities they wanted to do, which included visiting an elephant sanctuary, zip-lining and island-hopping.
On the eve of his departure, he packed and weighed his bag to make sure it did not exceed 7kg. It was almost like a game of Tetris as he tried out various combinations of items to take along.
One idea he and his friends had, to save on luggage space, was to take along just two or three sets of clothes for the week-long trip, and they would handwash their clothes daily.
“No way,” we said, as we burst into laughter imagining the four teenagers doing their laundry while on holiday.
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We “helpfully” threw out outlandish ideas for fun, which he rejected.
“Take along your T-shirts with holes to wear and throw,” I suggested, thinking he might finally be willing to part with his worn clothes.
“Buy new clothes along the way. But then how would you bring them back without baggage allowance?” we joked.
When he got there, he encountered situations he did not usually have to concern himself with when we travelled as a family.
“Should I bring my passport around or leave it in the room?” he texted on the first day. We asked him if there was a lockable safe in the room, and suggested he weigh if it was safer to have it in his chest pack or lock it in the room. He decided to take it along with him.
But his papa reminded him that if they were planning to go zip-lining, where he would have to leave his bag unattended, it might be safer to lock it in the safe.
Picking up life lessons while making precious memories
For teenagers, the newfound freedom of travelling without parents for the first time must be exhilarating. But fun as it may be, it is also educational as they have to be responsible for their actions.
For instance, time management is critical to ensure that they get to the airport on time for their return flight. They need to research and find out if they need to set aside money for airport taxes, any last-minute expenses or unforeseen circumstances.
Without an adult on their trip, they would have to learn to manage on their own.
There were hits and misses, which probably made their trip all the more memorable.
While the journey went smoothly enough from the start, they mistook the date for checking out of the first hotel. They realised it only when the hotel messaged them, while they were in the middle of a game of darts.
I was incredulous that no one realised it earlier, but my son’s reply was a chill, “It’s okay, we live and we learn.”
They learnt problem-solving skills unwittingly. When I asked him how his day was a few days later, he replied: “Went for ATV ride, very fun, but now we can’t find the second key to our room.”
They hunted high and low to no avail, and ended up splitting the fine of $10 to replace the key.
It was a lesson that, fortunately for them, was not too costly.
The trip strengthened their friendships as they learnt more about one another, and each person’s likes and dislikes.
They accommodated one another and, at times, split up to do different activities. For instance, one friend preferred to go to the supermarket then chill in the room, while the rest checked out a night spot.
How to allay parental worries
Before my son’s trip, I got him to e-mail me his flight and accommodation details.
I also asked that he drop me a message every night after returning to the room. Some nights, he would send a selfie. Other nights, he might check in after my bedtime and I would see his messages the next morning.
It helps that I know his friends and they have hung out and stayed over at our home before.
Fun-loving though they may be, I know they will look out for one another. Having been through highs and lows in secondary school and junior college together, they share an easy camaraderie and bond.
Even as I doled out safety advice like to wear a life jacket for island-hopping, ultimately, I had to trust that he would be responsible.
It was a memorable trip that was greatly cherished because they got to spend almost every waking moment together for eight days, before they went their separate ways when they enlisted in 2025.
More importantly, they learnt lessons they would not have picked up if their parents had been with them.
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Jane Ng is a senior correspondent who covers parenting and education. She writes a regular column, Minor Issues, where she mulls over her own parenting dilemmas.
